one word: firstdatebathroomanal
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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