Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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