she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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