Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
