if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
