I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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