I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
