it was like his penis was on wheels.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
