Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Operation Purity has been aborted
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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