this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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