do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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