No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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