my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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