weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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