You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
