I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
