I want to walk on stilts...naked
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
