We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
