I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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