it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
