my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
