you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
