Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
wow bdsm is so cute
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
