I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
