You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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