If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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