So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
