elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
