I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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