youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
