Plan B is the new Plan A
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just high enough for therapy.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
