They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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