Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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