New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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