just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
