I faked an abortion last night.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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