True but thats because hes a fetus.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
