here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
