tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
