his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
