I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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