just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
