ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
We got so high we made milksteak
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
