why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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