ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
