I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
