Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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