shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
