Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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