before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
