I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
