just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
